...no matter how small

Dear Ella,

        As I write this you are laying fast asleep on my chest covered in a mound of blankets. As a listen to the little sounds you make in whatever dreams you are having, I cannot help but think about all the other Ellas the world never got to meet.

      You see you were born with something called Trisomy 18 (Edward's Syndrome). A chromosomal abnormality that causes a verity of severe organ abnormalities including the heart and brain. It also causes, among other things, you to be very tiny. You truly do not belong out in this world. It is too big and too cold.

      In The West, Trisomy 18 is a disease that doctors and parents can test for before birth. Doctors label it as "a problem" that can "be handled". They sight the list of facts that prove "the fetus is not compatible with life." Only 5-10% of children born with Trisomy 18 live past their first month of life and only 1% live to adulthood. A two months old Ella, it is true you are a miracle baby girl.

      I wonder how many other babies were labelled with this horrible disability were never given the chance to prove that they too were miracles from the moment they were conceived. I wonder how many mama's, by choice, missed the chance to marvel at their babies tinee tiny hands, feet, or my personal favourite, your ity bity ears. I wonder how many soft downy heads never were stroked as the babies fell asleep. I wonder how many parents lost out on the funny bewilderment at how stubborn a 2 pound 2 month old can be.

     I wonder how many of the hundreds of people who liked your Facebook photos Ella, would have rooted for you before you were born. Would they have celebrated life if you had been their girl?

      I admit the thought of caring for you has me a bit daunted. When Sarah akka first told me we had a baby coming with Trisomy 18 my first response was "Dear God, no". I knew what T-18 was and the odds babies with it have of survival. And every time I hold you I swear I am going drop you or injure you in some way. But, baby girl, as I look into your big brown alert eyes I cannot help but fall in love with you.  Ella, if you are willing to fight for everyday of your life, I promise I will be your fairy godmother and wave any magic wand I have to help you make it to the ball.

      Ella, you were created and chosen with a unique purpose to serve The Master. And since I have met you I now know the reason you were brought into my personal life. I have always believed in the sanctity of life and have always checked the box marked "pro-life". But I avoid confrontation like the pelage and have been willing to stay quiet so as not to "rock the boat" As I feel you start to stir against my chest I vow, cheena papa, to fight louder and harder for the other miracle babies in the world. The ones who, like you (and your namesake Cinderella) have the odds stacked against them with no one in their corner.

 

I am so thankful for the chance to meet you, you 2 pound world changer. May you always know the truth of your Hindi name "beloved". For that is what you are.

    

Yesu ne prema and so do I.

(From March 8,2014)